The fact that India is still overwhelmingly patriarchal is undeniable. Some stories offer hope that things are changing. However, every now and again we find that male privilege and a sense of entitlement result in some depressing incidents that reveal an as yet entrenched misogyny and the continuing desire to control and constrict women’s freedom and activities. Women's safety continues to be an issue, however some positive stories also emerge; stories that offer hope that the common Indian man is perhaps not as misogynistic as one would think:
A letter addressed by Delhi taxi driver Sahil Tomar reveals a mindset far more evolved than many of so called educated men who resort to victim shaming and blaming to explain away violence and abuse towards women. He acknowledges his limited experience and education and yet reveals a refreshingly progressive attitude.
Hailing from UP’s Faizabad district, the first shock was his experience of how dehumanizing a big city could be. When he saw women moving around late at night and their outspoken nature in Delhi, at first this shocked and offended him. He had been brought up to believe that losing a fight to a man is OK but doing the same with a woman is an insult!
For a young man from a small, conservative village, this is a tremendous acknowledgment and one that a majority of Indian men still seem unable to make. Sahil Tomar draws a simple parallel: when men wear certain things, talk a certain way, smoke or drink, is it OK? The same token should then apply to women as well. This is the message the man wants to send out to other cab drivers.
The man displays an endearing gallantry when he says that it is his job and that of other cab drivers to ensure that women reach home safely; that this is a badge of honor to take back home to their families!
Asgar Pasha, from Yeshwanthapura, Bengaluru is another simple, ordinary man who displayed empathy and bravery in an instance where a woman was under attack. He saved a 19 year old female from being gang raped by three drunk men just outside the Yeshwanthapura railway station during the early hours.
Refusing to remain a mute spectator he intervened and also called three of his friends to help. They then called the police control room. Pasha admitted that attackers were known to him; that he was ashamed of this fact.
Though he knew the perpetrators, he chose to act against them and for the person who was clearly under attack. He made no excuses for the behavior of his friends. He also did not ask what a young woman was doing out at such a time. He behaved like a decent and courageous human being would; not the way that a misogynist would.
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