The more I see young kids, especially adolescents today, the more I realise that I grew up in simpler times. The world is very different today – precisely because so much of life is lived virtually; in online spaces. The kind of exposure to media that kids grow up with has muddled up their self-perception, body image and made them have unrealistic expectations of themselves – particularly girls. Recent reports say that there is a veritable epidemic of mental health issues among young girls today – something that the COVID epidemic has vastly exacerbated.
Mental health experts find that adolescent girls almost routinely have low self-esteem, a negative body image, anxiety around academic performance and generally feel out of control of their lives. They also find it difficult to speak about these issues and seek help. Studies have shown that girls are twice or even thrice as likely to suffer from mental health issues as boys. While boys do also have problems, girls are more likely to be objectified, feel body shame, and seek unhealthy perfectionism. The pressure to look a certain way, particularly the way one is projected online, is far greater on girls than it is on boys. Social pressure and expectation are also much higher in the case of girls.
One Manchester University study found that while 7% of boys could have emotional difficulties, that percentage rises to 22% among girls. Lack of sleep is a problem that contributes to the issue. Spending time on social media surrounded by images of ‘perfect’ faces and bodies is another. With COVID cutting out real-life interactions, this online world has become the main influence on these young minds and sensibilities. These issues then manifest in the form of eating disorders, self-harm, anxiety, depression and so on.
The issue becomes even worse in deeply patriarchal societies like India. Gender roles, social status and power structures are almost invariably in favour of men; resulting in structures of oppression and dominance. Female mobility, decision making, autonomy, economic power are all severely restricted in our society; further contributing to mental illness. Further, there is social stigma and the fear of being ridiculed that makes girls and boys stay silent about their suffering. There is also the fact that asking for help would be seen to negatively impact the marriage prospects of a girl and as such, she would be discouraged from speaking out or would be disbelieved.
Gender-based violence makes women even more susceptible to mental illness. Plus there is a general lack of awareness and access to health care means that most people who need help do not receive it. It is well documented that intimate partner violence has seen an alarming rise during the COVID lockdown period; making the position of women all the more precarious.
Firstly we have to recognise that the problem is real; not something that one just has to ‘snap out of’. Mental illness can be crippling. It can become difficult just to get out of bed in the morning. Sufferers look to self-isolate, see themselves as inadequate and worthless. Academic performance will frequently suffer because concentration and motivation are typically lacking. Young people will ‘zone out’ while trying to study or will find that they are unable to retain what they have studied. Memory loss is another issue – people may not remember what they have studied and may not even recall events and personal experiences.
Secondly, we have to remove the stigma around mental health issues. We don’t stigmatize people for contracting, say, measles, so why this shame and secrecy around a mental health diagnosis. We have to normalise asking for help and encourage kids to speak out about their feelings and emotional problems. Let’s not express shock or dismay and especially disbelief when a young person expresses the need to get help. Especially don’t minimise their suffering by saying oh this is normal, you'll get over it. We also have to normalise getting treatment – in the form of counselling and/or medications. Again we don’t hesitate to pop pills for physical ailments, so why this reluctance around mental illness?
Be watchful but not judgmental. If someone is gaining or losing weight, showing signs of secrecy, wanting to remain alone all the time, shows changes in sleep and eating patterns, these could be warning signs. Be watchful about self-harm: this could be in the form of skin punctures with pins, cuts with a knife or other sharp object, abrasions, and/or burns. And if you do spot what you think is self-harm, try not to sound shocked or alarmed and gently try to find out what the issue is.
Offer to connect with a mental health professional, school counsellor or other professional or any other person that the adolescent trusts and feels comfortable speaking to. It is important for young people to learn healthy coping mechanisms and find support. Ignoring the problem will not help – don’t assume that this is just something that young people ‘get over’.
It can take work – be prepared to help. If any of this resonates, the same applies to anyone reading this. A mental illness can happen to anyone – it is no one's fault and things will get better with help.
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