We live in confusing times. If there is the #MeToo movement bringing attention to systemic abuse and harassment of women, we are also recognising that men’s harassment is a neglected issue. Where on the one hand women are becoming assertive about their freedoms and demanding respect, some men are genuinely confused about what is allowed and what is no longer OK. Perfectly decent blokes aren’t sure when seemingly harmless flirting transforms into harassment. There is yet another problem: that of false accusations and the fear of these. A woman published a tweet with the #HimToo hashtag (later deleted it) which started off a conversation on the topic:
Here a mother, obviously agitated speaks about her exemplary gentleman son who ‘respects women’; speaks about how he ‘won’t go on solo dates due to the current climate of false sexual accusations by radical feminists.’ This sparked off a spirited discussion but later the tweet and the account of @MarlaReynoldsC3 and the handle BlueStarNavyMom3 were deleted.
Many men and women have expressed indignation about men being falsely accused of sexual harassment. They feel that men are aggreived and deserve a #HeToo movement or similar.
A significant number of people feel that false accusations are a big problem and something that could ‘ruin lives’. The obvious reference is to the Brett Kavanaugh issue where several accusations of sexual assault were leveled against the judge. Those who support the candidature of Kavanaugh are usually those who disbelieve his accusers and tend to think that false accusations are a real danger. Those that don’t support him believe that underreporting of sexual assault cases is a far bigger problem.
Many men and women however pointed out the fact that the issue of men being sexually abused /assaulted is a far graver concern than women falsely accusing men.
This tweet references the iconic Hitchcock film Psycho about the psychotic serial killer with a mother fixation. There were many, many more....
The #HimToo hashtag was basically highjacked by those who thought that the perceived problem of false accusations was ridiculously insignificant compared to the real, endemic and ubiquitous problem of sexual harassment and abuse.
A number of twitter users expressed anger at the manufactured outrage about false accusations; pointing out the fact that false accusations are negligible in number. Most pointed out that there is a very high chance of women's accusations being dismissed, disbelieved or ridiculed. So much so, that women are unlikely to report legit incidents; the possibility of making up fake accusations is a distant possibility.
One could dispute these statistics, but the fact remains that the chances of a woman falsely accusing a man and then subjecting herself to scrutiny and criticism that inevitably follows, are laughably low.
Pieter Hanson, whose mother tweeted (and then detelted) the original #HimToo comment decided to set the record straight. He obviously has no need for people's misplaced sympathy and seemed embarrassed by his mother’s online outrage. He clarified that he did not support #HimToo; that he in fact supported #BelieveHer, the hashtag that urges people to take accusations of harassment and abuse seriously.
Calling out his mother's ‘ridiculous tweet’, Pieter Hanson's bother Jon tweeted this: saying he was highly amused and that he also felt bad for his bother.
The fact is that men don’t enjoy being called out for being disrespectful and abusive. They don’t like being told that what they have been doing is wrong and they don’t like their sense of entitlement being called into question. Trevor Noah puts in into perspective when he explains in simple terms, the narrative of victimhood that is being created to divert attention from a real problem. The fact is that very few men are accused at all; the men who are falsely accused is a negligible, insignificant number. And remember denying abuse doesn't make it a false charge.
But today, it’s a worldwide phenomenon – those in positions of power and privilege are being told they are the victims. And they believe; because they want to. It’s tough to see entrenched entitlement slip away…it’s difficult to come to terms with the powerless reclaiming their power; to see a realignment of the power balance.
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