Social conditioning is powerful – it sets expectations about gender roles and behaviours. Equally, we grow up believing in a certain concept of beauty. We are conditioned to believe that a certain colour, a certain size and a particular arrangement of facial features constitute beauty. Now in more enlightened times, we recognise the harm that these narrow and exclusivist concepts of beauty can cause. We have to question these concepts of beauty the way that Michelle Obama and Viola Davis did when they posted a heart-rending video of little Ariyonna, who believes herself to be ‘ugly’.
People of African extraction have been made to feel inferior for their skin colour, facial features and hair for centuries. According to the Oscar and Emmy award-winning actor and producer Viola Davis, this has a long history. “Language, behavior, laws, music,” all these reflect the biases and prejudices we see around us.
The former first lady shared this video and reassured the little girl about how lovely and precious she really is.
This video is actually quite heart-rending. It makes us wonder how a child as young as this was made to feel ‘ugly’. We have to question how a little girl like this could even have such a negative concept of beauty that it made her question and reject her own looks.
The little girl and her feelings resonated with many who were also made to feel inferior or unattractive simply because they were different from the narrow and constricted understanding of ‘beauty’.
Women, in particular, are made to feel ugly and inadequate for a variety of reasons: too tall, too short, too fat, too thin, too dark, wrong hair. Numerous women struggle with the restrictive precepts of beauty and are made to feel inadequate because of this.
One woman responded to the video as an ‘ivory white girl’. She acknowledged that white women have a particular responsibility to participate in “ending the systematic normalization of beauty standards.”
Black women are often made to feel inadequate for their natural hair and feel the need to spend time, money and effort on making their hair conform to some unrealistic and unnatural ‘ideal’.
Support for Ariyonna came in from everywhere. People were affected by the little girl’s feelings of inadequacy and wanted to reassure her that she was in fact a beautiful and precious individual.
This commentator made and posted an illustration of a little girl proudly displaying the hair and skin of her people.
Former NFL player Matthew A Cherry decided to send over some books about Black culture and pride. With so much love and support from people including a former FLOTUS, Ariyonna will hopefully never call herself or even think of herself as ‘ugly’ again.
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