On Twitter, the blogosphere and elsewhere on the web we have seen a burst of wit and vituperation directed at liquor/cricket/aviation baron and India’s best known debtor, Vijay Mallya recently fleeing the country. Known for his flagrantly conspicuous consumption and simultaneous refusal to pay the salaries of his former employees, he has invited the contempt, ire and condemnation of Indians everywhere. It occurs to me that there is a lot of cinematic fodder here; Vijay Mallya’s life could have been the plot for so many of these movies:

Himmatwala

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If any Indian can be said to have himmat – loosely translated as barefaced gall, it would have to be Vijay Mallya. He borrowed, then he borrowed some more and then some more; gave a little to temples, spent cores on birthday bashes, horses and calendars while refusing to pay employees. This man wrote the book on being Himmatwala!

 

Karzzz/Karz

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Mr. Mallya is indebted to the tune of Rs 9000 crores. When asked to pay up, he said “Nah! I’d rather not”. It may sound like a two line story, but am pretty sure it can be fleshed out into a feature film… one that isn’t about either reincarnation or wooden faced actors determined to foist themselves on a hapless public. Variations of the theme could be Khoon ka Karz, Karz Chukana hai, Pyar ka Karz, Doodh ka Karz (I kid you not, these are all movies that actually got made).

 

Besharam

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This Ranbir Kapoor starrer was apparently a pretty appalling film (even if you discount his deafeningly loud outfits in the film)… but if the storyline had been around a certain tycoon not paying employees for years, the story would have been just as appalling.

 

Tees Maar Khan

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This unspeakable mishmash of a film was apparently a story about some gangster /aadha (half) Robin Hood – a guy who stole from the rich but didn’t give to the poor. Remind you of someone else?

 

Dil Pardesi Ho Gaya

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Seeing how the ‘King of Good Times’ happily skipped town (and country, and imminent prosecution and perhaps liquidation proceedings), and became a ‘pardesi’ this one should definitely be made. Especially since no one ever saw the original movie of this name starring Kapil Jhaveri and Saloni Aswani. Who? Never mind.

 

Aa Ab Laut Chalein

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This will be the sequel to Dil Pardesi Ho Gaya when the Mallya realises the error of his ways, returns to India, pays his employees, financial institutions and devotes the rest of his days to a Spartan and selfless life doing voluntary work. Obviously this film will be pure fiction.

 

Author – Reena Daruwalla

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