How to Tell if Someone May Be Lying

There are a lot of commonly held beliefs about lying ‘tells’. A 'tell' is a card player term that helps say, poker players how to tell if their opponent is lying about the kind of hand they have. Some of these are backed up by studies, some not so much. The fact is that some people are just better liars than others and it can be really hard to tell when someone is lying. Also, those giveaway signs that someone is lying could actually be due to a host of perfectly innocent reasons and not lying at all.

Received wisdom tells us that people who look away and avoid the gaze could be lying. Those who fidget, squirm in their seat, touch their face or play with their hair may be lying. While in some cases this could be so, there can be many reasons for this. A person may be trying to remember something or they may be distracted and may look away while speaking. In fact studies show that a lot of people will look directly at the opposite person when they are lying. Fidgeting could mean that a person is uncomfortable or that they are just nervous; not necessarily lying.

Appearing uncaring or indifferent could indicate lying: for instance a person may look bored or may shrug in disinterest or may have a blank expression if they are lying. Sweating around the head area, blinking or squinting too much, swallowing more than usual, biting or licking the lips could also be signs of deception, say experts. These could be the involuntary responses of the body’s autonomic nervous system to lying.

Experts say that detecting a liar can be difficult but not impossible and some of these verbal cues could be telltale. If someone is being vague, skipping on details about who, where, when, and how much, this could be because they don’t want to get caught out or because they are thinking as they make up their lie. Conversely, if a person is offering too many details – even irrelevant ones – this could mean that they are trying hard to appear trustworthy and truthful when they may not be so.

Then there are other cues that may indicate lying: such as if a person repeats the question. Often liars do this to give themselves time to think up something to say. There is also the use of precise words to answer a question that could indicate one is lying. For instance, if a mother asks a child ‘did you take ice cream from the fridge’, the child may reply with ‘I did not take ice cream from the fridge’. This could be lying by omission in the sense that the child may not have taken ice cream but may have taken some other forbidden frozen treat.

Then there is deflection. If someone doesn’t want to admit to something, they may use a question to respond to a question – rather like a politician using whataboutery. Sometimes a person may seem to be waffling – using filler words like ‘um’, ‘like’, ‘so’. This could be a stalling technique to give oneself time to think about what to say next. Small discrepancies in what they say may also indicate lying. At first, they indicate it was morning when an incident occurred and then say it was too dark to see properly for instance.

Lying may also cause a person to change how they speak. A rising pitch, cracking of the voice or speaking more loudly and aggressively may also indicate lying. This could indicate that a person is feeling stressed from lying. This change of tone could mean that one is feeling defensive. Clearing the throat frequently could also indicate lying behaviour. Muscles tighten when we are feeling uncomfortable or stressed, including the throat muscles and this could mean lying behaviour.

Now, this is not an exact science. The above signs that someone may be lying could well be explained some other way; there could be a legit and perfectly innocent explanation. A lot of the ability to spot lying is instinctive. While sometimes our instincts may be spot on, sometimes they may be very misleading, especially if we have certain preconceived notions about the person.  So sure, find out about how to tell if a person is lying, but keep in mind that this is an inexact science at best.