You know how some people are just too nice for their own good? I have certainly known a few such helpful, non-confrontational, sweet people. These are the really nice people that others keep taking advantage of. One Twitter user tweeted a picture with the caption ‘What being too nice feels like’ and that started a conversation.
Basically people walk all over nice people. They don’t value their time, feelings, efforts and ‘niceness’ – these traits are just taken for granted and not acknowledged.
A lot of these really nice people are often overlooked. Their own desires are undermined and people don’t bother to be nice in return.
A lot of people related to the tweet and agreed with it.
Customer service professionals and those in the hospitality industry are always taught that ‘customer is king’. They are trained not to react even when spoken to rudely or with hostility. Being so nice all the time can feel like that photo of the cartoon character flattened by people's footsteps.
Those kind people can often feel sad, lonely and invalidated and kind of invisible.
Some think that a lot of niceness is basically the inability to stand up for oneself.
There is something to be said about being assertive and standing up for one’s own needs; valuing one’s own time and efforts.
Some people cynically and selfishly take advantage of nice people. No one needs to be that nice. This just feeds into the narcissism and self-centeredness of all those not-so-nice people.
They speak up for themselves and don’t want to be people pleasers.
Being nice to others is a good thing, but self-care is important too. Everyone needs to set boundaries that people should know not to overstep.
Being nice to others without receiving care and niceness in return diminishes the self. It makes the nice person feel bad about themselves and ultimately leads to feelings of resentment. We have to understand that sacrifice is not a virtue and that we have to stop glorifying it as selflessness, or love or duty or ‘niceness’. Very often nice people are nice simply because they feel pressured; because they feel they have no other option. And yes, they feel like a doormat that everyone feels free to walk on – not very nice, is it?
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