The sheer vastness of our country is staggering, is it not? As per Wikipedia there are 461 living languages spoken in India. Each language has it’s own nuances and flares. Whats even more interesting about India is the extremely different cultures that co-exist quite nicely, despite the attempts to cause disharmony. One of the most common things about us is that we love to poke fun at people from all other parts of the country. I’m Bengali and so I have an opinion about the Punjabi’s and how they appear to me. Similarly the Punjabi Aunty in the next building has an opinion about the fish we eat everyday. Despite all our preconceived notions and opinions, we’re still very good at co-exiting, especially if we find a common ground.
The Common Ground
The friendly bartender
The Indian bar, usually with neon lights and dark tinted glasses. is a place of coming of age for many a youth. Unfortunately though very few girls or women coming of age, visit these places because, well, they don’t particularly feel safe. None-the-less many eager youths have taken their first clandestine alcoholic beverage at these places under the knowing eyes of the bartender. After the initial experience men from all parts of the country keep revisiting said bar. We’re going to use this scenario to bring out the ways to recognise people from the four corners of the country from a distance.
The North – Punjabi
The Munda
Aah the gymnasium built body, the well groomed face (though they’ll die before admitting any salon treatment), the ostentatious car with dhik-chik, dhik-chik music (probably by Yo Yo), the loud voice, getting louder after each drink and the end to the evening with some fight or the other, over some completely incoherent issue.
The East – Bengali
The Babumoshai
The gleam in the eye at the thought of a good drink, accompanied by something non-vegetarian to eat. The initially low volume discussion, possibly on cricket or politics that becomes increasingly loud until they actually come to the point of making real threats of bodily harm and many, many, warnings are given to the person speaking for the other side. Of course no hands are ever raised.
The West – Mumbaikar
The Bhai
They dress different, they talk different and they are almost always irreverent towards any authority. At least the movies would have us believe this of our friends in Mumbai. They are boisterous and loud after a few pegs but hey Mumbai is still supposed to be very safe for the late night revelers.
The South – Mallu Re
The Machu
They are the quietest of the lot. They come to do their business, which is to drink. They usually have the best capacity for alcohol intake. They finish their drinks in quick succession, don’t talk much with anyone and they leave when they are done.
We love every single type of person with their own little nuances which make them so obviously different from the rest of the country. Seriously, what would be the fun if we were all like clones of each other. After all variety is the spice of life.
Author: Tora Sen
