How awful are those interminable adverts known as infomercials which attack us when the set top box is switched on? We find ourelves rushing to change the channel quickly before we are told how important it is that we own hideous bed sheets, ineffective weight loss products, ridiculous roti makers, various ‘wellness’ products and a bunch of other things meant to make us feel inefficient and clueless. Keeping the insult aside here are some of the reasons we hate infomercials.
They don’t have an end in sight
Image
See there is no 30 second slot here where they tell us about the wonderful product in 20 seconds and use the other 10 to convince you of its vital importance in our lives. The infomercial is seemingly interminable as it gives you ‘information’ about the product. Ad nauseam.
They are everywhere
Image
Earlier only insomniacs were privy to the dark world of infomercials when flicking through channels during sleepless nights. Now, one is assaulted by unending paeans to seemingly miraculous products each time one switches on the box.
They are terribly exaggerated
Image
Your life is as difficult and horrible right now. Also your house is ugly. But no sooner do you buy a magical pan, a roti maker, the miraculous mop, or that hideous inflatable sofa your life and your home will be transformed into an Eden and your existence will be infused with ease. Never will you slave over a hot stove or a smelly bucket again!
Those voices grate
Image
It’s the same voices that seem to inhabit all the infomercials. They grate on the nerves. The inane, excruciatingly pedestrian script grates some more. Those voices appear to have seemingly unending delight in the product, the inexhaustible enthusiasm for the wonderful item that is going to transform lives that grates some more.
The before and after
Image
Unhappy before, happy now. Tired before, invigorated now. Hairless before, hirsute now. Unpopular before, popular now. Stupid before, brilliant after. Really?
They assume we are stupid, clumsy, inelegant and clueless
Image
They will start by telling you that the product actually costs X amount. They will then tell you that they are offering a 30% discount and will then tell us that we are so very special that they will give a 50% discount and throw in a bunch of irresistible freebies… you know, because that is how much they love us!
We secretly want those products
Image
And therein lies the rub… the damned infomercials work! They have made us believe that the roti maker takes the pain and effort out of producing healthy unleavened bread for the family. The exercise machine is going to give us those beautifully flat abs. The ‘suraksha kavach’ will indeed protect us from the evil eye of the padosan.
TV programming is only as stupid as its audience. Never truer than in the case of infomercials.
