There are Twitter trends of all sorts – funny, mocking, appreciative, fawning, critical and even hateful. Then every now and again a topic starts trending on Twitter that tells us a number of home truths and makes us look at ourselves and our communities anew. At times the tweets delight us and at other times we are rueful at their accuracy; such as when #DesiCulture started to trend – ‘desi’ of course being the umbrella term for all things from the Indian subcontinent – Indian or Pakistani, as viewed by the significant Diaspora.
…Or subcontinental stretchable time if you prefer – people from this part of the world suffer from terminal lateness: always rushing to get somewhere, but never arriving on time!
Desi parents can be relied on to overcompensate for the endemic culture of lateness… often by taking some rather extreme measures!
Thrift is in our DNA, reusing and recycling comes naturally to us – newspapers, plastic bags, packing material, empty bottles – everything is reused or up-cycled!
Sure we treat our guests with love and care. But when those guests are also our relatives, everything else becomes secondary to them…because we love them so! Also because it is expected and because if they do not get the red carpet treatment our name would be put in mud in the extended family!
These two things rarely match, alas! Desi parents have certain lofty expectations and if kids have to meet those, this could mean sacrificing their own ambitions and desires.
To be fair, desi parents will do anything for their kids! These kids may not have asked for those sacrifices, but they have been made anyway!
…But true as well! The ideal desi mother is the ‘mamta ki moorat’ the ideal desi parents are a picture of rectitude and self-denial! It is only right that the child feels beholden – pretty much for life!
One of the reasons, why #DesiCulture was trending on Twitter on either side of the border is because of 'how close-knit families tend to be' on either side. Not only does everyone in the family know what is going on with everyone else, their opinion is also sought for all minor and major decisions.
Especially if that business is marriage. If you're a certain age, you are supposed to be married. Everyone has an opinion on when, who, where and how! Your own opinion? Not that important it would seem!
Is this even possible? If so why haven’t I been doing it yet? I hear some people out there saying this. Because desis are all about saving a little money when and where possible!
We love our food spicy. In ‘des’ no one minds if one is rather redolent with the smell of masala, a hint of garlic and a dash of fried onion. Delicate nasal sensitivities abroad, however, are a different matter!
She is ‘maan and maryada’ of the family, she is the upholder of ‘family honour’ and values, she is also a ‘burden’. She is daughter, sister, mother – everything but a person!
The average subcontinental male has a clear dichotomy about women inside his head – one to bed and quite another to wed! Perhaps this tweet referred to our good old hypocrisy or just to human nature which seeks to mold, change and alter everyone to our own requirements.
Some unlikely culinary combinations and bizarre fusion foods! Because if it’s trending on Twitter, it will come around to food at some point or other!
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