Dear Men – Let Me Explain Mansplaining to You

The word mansplain is a portmanteau of two words – man and explain. It describes the phenomenon of men feeling the need to explain things to women; the presumption that some people know less because… well because they were born female. Commentators have described a recent episode involving American senator as ‘peak mansplaining’. Let us look at what happened and explore the phenomenon of mansplaining, shall we?

“Much bigger idea”

It was an animal rights protestor who jumped on stage and grabbed the mic from Kamala Harris as she was answering a question about the gender pay gap. Apparently his was the bigger idea; whatever it was, and he felt justified in interrupting the speaker as she made her point. For some this was ‘peak mansplaining’. While we may or may not agree with that, mansplaining is real and it is rife.

So what is mansplaining?

It is men assuming that women lack either training or knowledge, insight or ability, even in areas where they may be experts. (Rather like a man demonstrating to a homemaker –who cooks for her family every day – the right way to make an omlette, because he made an omlette one Sunday a few months ago.)

The infantalising of women

Some men assume that they have to protect women, show them how to do things and generally ease the road for them – rather like a ‘woman's magazine’ written and edited by men.

Talking down

Some men talk down to women – literally and figuratively while adopting an exaggeratedly patient, paternal aspect… you know because women are either physically weak or mentally incompetent and will always need men to take care of them and tell them what to do.

The assumption of knowing better

Some men feel the need to offer unsolicited advice – on any and all topics – to women. You see they just want to help.

Explaining mansplaining

It can be quite disconcerting to have someone assume that I am ignorant about something and that I need help with it – simply because I am a woman. Because the jokes about women being bad drivers who cannot read maps are ha-ha funny!

“Not all men”

Sure, not all men do this, but a lot of men do! So guys, do pay attention the next time you speak to a woman and feel the need to 'help' or 'explain' without being asked. Maybe it didn’t seem like mansplaining to you, but that highly intelligent, experienced and capable woman in front of you, just may think differently.

Do listen

Instead of speaking, do listen – really listen to what she is saying. Do refrain from making assumptions – based on her hair, the way she dresses, the way she speaks – do resist the urge.

Don’t condescend to her

If you assume equality and that she doesn’t necessarily know less than you, all else will fall into place.

Mansplaining ready reckoner

This handy guide will help you detect and arrest the urge to mansplain: if you find that you overrule a woman's arguments, assume that only you have all the facts, undermine her own experiences, assume that she doesn’t ‘get it’, talk down to her and so on. If you get that mansplaining is a problem, I will not have to ‘womansplain’ it to you again!

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