Traveling by public transport, can it ever be simple enough as catching an auto or metro and reaching your destination. Absolutely not! First, no matter how early you start, you always get late, then you don’t get the bus, auto or metro you want. And finally, when you’re able to put everything behind you, there’re the commuters that are just unavoidable. You find them everywhere and surprisingly there is a ‘type’ and not just random people who are by coincidence traveling with you. Not sure what we’re talking about, take a look.
- Agent Perspiration
Watch Out For Patchy Pits
Packed with the secret weapon of arm lifting, you know you’ve met your Agent Perspiration of the day when you smell them before you see them. Granted, the summer isn’t kind to us but something must be amiss if not all of us smell that way.
- Anti In-Law
Walk away from the whiners.
In order to identify this character accurately, tune your ears to be sensitive towards any kind of whining. Be it on the bus, metro or even an auto stand, you’ll always find that one person in the crowd on the phone with their own parents, having a conversation with them that gives you the impression that marriage is far from pleasant.
- Long Distance Lovebirds
Get away from the giggles.
Best identifiable by their incessant baby talk, the long distance lovebirds are among the most dangerous beings to come across while using public transport. Their weapons include repeating the words “no, you cut the phone” and “love you more.”
- Chatty Kathy
It’s okay, we get it.
Most likely to be found in the position of a cab driver, their goal is to be your new best friend by the time you reach the destination.
Identification: If your driver is still talking 7 minutes into the journey, you’re found yourself a Chatty Kathy.
Tip: The only way to escape the misery is to be on the phone. Use this opportunity to catch up with an old friend or talk to someone you’ve been meaning to. If nothing else, you could just pretend.
- Alien to Space
We hear you.
Completely oblivious to the concept of space, you will only spot this kind once it’s too late. They will scan all the empty seats to eventually grab the one next to you, leaving you trying to maintain distance by using the armrest.
- Dirct-O Phone
EVERYBODY can hear you!
Audible before they are visible, these are people you meet on public transport who seem oblivious to the entire purpose behind a cell phone which is that you don’t have to be loud enough for your voice to carry directly to the receiver of the message. By the time they’re done, even you know what they’re eating for dinner that night.
- The Squeezer
Seriously though, tell them.
Arguably the most difficult to deal with, the squeezer has plagued the lives of many. Convinced that they are narrow enough to fit in the 3 cms space between two individuals, the squeezer is everywhere.
Tip: Call them out. Somehow they don’t seem to notice till the obvious shortage of space for their gluteus maximus till it is pointed out.
- Poles Best Friend
The only thing worse than a crying baby
Found in metros and trains, they find their best friends in poles. Most often children below the age of 12, they take to dancing around the poles like it’s a game they’ll never get to play again. Taking circles of the poles, running lacing through them or climbing them, it’s always fun and games till someone falls though.
- Backpack Baby
TAKE IT OFF!
Possibly the most infuriating of the lot, the backpack baby is convinced the bag blends into their skin and is now a part of them. Must be, what other reason could there be of them thinking the humongous bags on their backs don’t take any space?
- Cheer Squad
Teenagers are scary.
You’ll know them when you see them, they are a group of young adults travelling together, and by the looks of it, having an absolute blast. Talking in loud voices, cracking inappropriate jokes, making comments, they tend to get carried away by what we can only assume is the company of their friends.
Author: Asavri Misra
