We girls often find ourselves in sticky situations, when a dear pal who we loved “as a friend”, starts acting weird and all too mushy. And when, for obvious reasons, mushy becomes pushy, and you are really not interested, you stand accused of the ultimate crime! You friendzoned him! Fret not! We’re here to suggest some fool-proof ways in which you can let “that guy” in your life, know that you are clearly not interested, by something as simple as a text message. If he has half the wits and brains about him, he’ll get a clue, and will pull himself off the merry cheesy picture, without affecting your perfectly healthy friendship! Get ready for the text express!
Text Received: What are you wearing?
On clothes
Reply: Well, I am wearing my most boring sweatshirt, which is nearly drenched in my sweat, and loose pajamas, in which I merrily farted few second ago, but I feel much lighter and relieved now. Thank you.
Text Received: What is a guy called when he wants to be more than just a friend for a girl?
Enough already
Reply: Friendzoned.
Text Received: Hey sweetheart! (Puts special emphasis on the word sweetheart)
Yeaaahhh, rrriiigghhhtt
Reply: typing….
Text Received: You looked so gorgeous today that I almost died.
Uhhhhh
Reply: Should’ve stayed dead then. Ha! Gotcha!
Text Received: Can you help me find my heart? It just slipped and fell at your feet!
No, seriously!
Reply: Later. I am busy finding your brains right now.
Text Received: Well, I had a dream yesterday. That you and I were together, walking on a beach, hand in hand.
Protect yourself
Reply: Get a dreamcatcher. Will keep the nightmares away.
…And the best one!
Grrrrrr
Text Received: What are you doing right now?
Reply: Reading a book.
Next Text Received: What if I was there?
Reply: I would still be reading a book.
Last Text Received: What if I wanted to disturb you?
Reply: I would beat the shit out of you for ruining my date with a perfect murder mystery. Now go away and let me read in peace!
Well, you’re welcome. Tad bit rude these, but they will certainly keep away the pesky peeps in your life, who break the sanctity of a friendship and insist that you do the same.
Author Name: Kadambari Srivastava
